I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
