i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
