I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
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the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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