Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
