Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
