After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
