I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
