I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
