does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
