she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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