I've blown a few things in my day
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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