fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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