i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
