Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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