i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
