I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
