Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
