I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
