they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
