maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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