I just saw a hot homeless man
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
