That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
