If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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