My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
