He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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