hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
