the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She needs sedatives and a leash
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize