before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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