I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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