we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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