pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
