Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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