My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
