I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
