is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
