My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
