u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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