Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
