foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
