i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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