Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
