If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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