feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
