You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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