there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
