in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
