Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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