I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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