I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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