i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
