God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
