Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
