clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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