We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this beer tastes like vomit already
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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