nut hugger
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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